“Take a deep breath.” I can hear Susan* deepen her breathing. Her energy, which had been contracted into her neck and head — the talking parts — expands to fill her entire body. “Good. Now, turn your attention inward to some place in your body.”
My clients know that coaching does not rely exclusively on intellect, that the body provides a wealth of insight and information.
“What part of your body is speaking to you?”
Susan and I are on our weekly phone call. Our coaching relationship is focused on Susan’s “creative empire,” her sprawling world of talent expressed through her own coaching practice, her visual art and her interest in acting. With all of her passions, plus the 30-hours-a-week “day job” that provides for stable income, it’s easy for Susan to become overwhelmed by the volume of choices she has about where to put her attention. For any entrepreneur, finding direction can be a challenge. For Susan, it’s imperative if she’s to use her precious time to fulfill her creative visions.
“My heart. My heart is speaking to me.” This is great! The heart never lies. I encourage Susan to go into her heart and ask it to show her what is needed right now.
“My heart is showing me a star.” She laughs, “It’s like that little red star on a pair of Converse shoes.”
“OK, focus on that star. What’s happening now?”
Susan’s sophisticated enough in her visualizing skills that it’s best for me to just follow along and be prepared for wherever we “land” in a session. My job is to prompt her to get back into her body when she gets stuck in her head.
“Well, it’s just kind of floating.”
“Ask it what it wants to do.”
“Oh, OK, now it’s in the sky.”
“How perfect is that, Susan! Your heart has given you a star, and now it’s in the sky.” I follow an intuitive hunch, “Reminds me of the old sea-faring captains who navigated by the stars.”
The image hits home, and Susan picks it up instantly. “Yeah, I feel kind of like a ship in the ocean, needing direction, I’m just kind of rocking back and forth on the waves. I don’t just want to get carried by the waves if I’m not sure where to go.”
“Go ahead and drop an anchor, then.”
“OK. So now I’m just rocking, not sure which way to go.” This is exactly the theme she brought to today’s call. We’re right on target for her, approaching the theme with her whole self now, not just her mind.
“Your heart gave you a star. Connect with that star. Captains know how to find their direction from the stars. They keep coming back to the North Star to find their bearings. They travel a little, then do a little course-correction.”
Susan breathes a sigh that has a smile in it. “That takes the pressure off! I don’t have to have it all mapped out right now. I can just move forward a little bit. Ooo. That’s a much better feeling.”
“Great, now connect deeply with that star. Let it guide you. What direction does it point you this week?”
“Well…” There’s a pause as Susan receives insight from deep inside herself. Within Susan, as within all of us, there is a wonderful wellspring of internal wisdom. Our coaching sessions give Susan time and space to dip into her well. “It’s the art. The art wants to be the focus. I have a show this weekend and I really want it to be great.”
Susan’s energy has completely shifted from stuck and uncertain to clear and enthusiastic. I can feel her eagerness.
I fan the flames of that little fire. “Really let that star shine bright. It’s guiding you to your art this week. Feel its light. It’s magnetic, pulling you, guiding you. Set your course for art, and whenever you feel ready, pull up your anchor and go!”
She inhales, then exhales sharply. “Whoo. I’m off! Feels good.”
“Alright! Now that you’re traveling toward art, what are some of the things that need to happen this week?” With Susan clearly focused on what’s important for her empire this week, our coaching turns to the practicalities of Susan’s upcoming art event.
When Susan and I first began coaching together, she was relieved to know that I wasn’t going to “make her choose” a single strand of her creative trinity as the essence of her business and the scope of our coaching. In a sample session with a conventional business coach, Susan had been asked straight off the bat to define her focus. “So, what is your business about, really? Is it coaching? Is it art? Is it acting?” For some people, that kind of approach works. Unfortunately, it was not the right approach for Susan. In fact, that single question had her stymied — she wasn’t moving forward with her business while she stewed on which aspect of her creativity was going to eclipse all the others for the sake of being focused and practical.
For a holistic spiritual soul like Susan, time becomes an ally to focus. In our initial interview, I laid out my approach for her. Your insights come from within, I told her. I bring tools, techniques and business experience, but ultimately you are your own best guide. Rather than have you kill off an aspect of your creative enterprise before it has a chance to show its potential, let’s learn what your inner guidance has to say. We can go week by week.
Going week by week is like living each day at a time. We don’t get ahead of ourselves. We cease trying to craft a master plan with a rigid timeline, and start living from the truth that is present right now. This approach allows for authenticity. Its motto is “unite and honor,” rather than “divide and conquer.” It’s surprisingly efficient, because more of our energy is available for us to use right here, right now, not three months or 30 years into the future.
Efficiency is not the sole domain of corporate powerhouses. It is certainly not the exclusive result of a strictly linear way of thinking and sequential way of doing. Women tend to think, and act, holistically. We loop and spiral and circle through activity. Studies have shown that women are more natural multi-taskers than men. Perhaps it’s an inheritance from our gatherer foremothers who tended the babies while foraging for food.
I believe it is within every woman (every man, too) to move forward on her lifepath as a whole, multifaceted being. We each possess a brilliant radiance — an inner star like Susan’s, that can guide us as we navigate through change, challenge, sweetness and success — the stuff of life!
Finding and following that inner star is what my work all about. It is dedicated to your wholeness, your fulfillment and your brilliance.
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* This client’s name and identifying details have been changed to preserve confidentiality.
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