T-error is human. To forgive is human, too.

Terror. It's "error" with a "t" up front.

Think of the letter "t" as the crossroads. Are you standing at the crossroads of some choice, terrified of choosing "wrong"?

The prospect of making a mistake can make many of us quake with fear. It can feel as if our very survival is at stake. There is an idea at work that says: If I get it wrong, I will be punished; if I get it right, I will be rewarded.

This idea has deep roots. Remember all the times you were punished for making a mistake as a child? And then in school? And then in your job? And then in your relationships? And now in your own head?

If you treat yourself the way your punishing parents, educators, lovers or bosses treated you then, then you are well justified in your terror at making mistakes. It is smart to stall at the crossroads if there's an inner oppressor ready to attack at the slightest mis-step.

Guess what -- you have the power to depose the despot within. When the punisher pokes at you, you don't poke back. You say: I forgive you. When the perfectionist picks at you, you don't pick back. You say: I forgive you.

You don't justify, explain, complain, or beg for mercy. You forgive. And eventually, that forgiveness melts the armor around the wounded part of you who made the mistake of trying to protect the whole of you by punishing you into "correct" behavior before anyone else could have a chance to hurt you for your mistakes again.

And once the armor is gone, you can go to that wounded little part and say: I love you. I will never leave you. You are safe.

And then you can both have a good cry -- you and this old wounded part of you -- and start to discover a new kind of relationship. One where curiosity replaces fear.

And when you're at the crossroads again, you'll be able to see the "t" of intersecting choices and the potential for "error." And you'll acknowledge the "t-error" with the awareness that, indeed, you might make a mistake.

You don't know what the future holds. You can only make the best choices with the information and resources you have available, and then respond to the outcomes of your choices.

Learn to love yourself regardless of outcomes. Depose the despot with forgiveness. It does not matter if no one ever taught you how to do that. You can teach yourself now.